


If the Truth is You're a Liar

by anisstaranise



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Break Up, Love Confessions, M/M, Musicians, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anisstaranise/pseuds/anisstaranise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing him tonight just before he’s scheduled to go on stage and perform his set proved to be overwhelming, his heart bleeding anew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If the Truth is You're a Liar

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Darren Criss' set at Elsie Fest 2016
> 
> Title from **The Script** 's " _If You Ever Come Back_ "
> 
> Thank you, **Dana**.

There’s a pounding in his chest that is familiar- the rapid but steady _thump-thumping_ of his heartbeat- as he leaves the darkness of backstage and steps into the unforgiving glares of the arena lights. The crowd roars as he approaches the mic stand, feet planted faithfully on the **x** taped to the floor.

His question of “ _How we doing tonight_?” is amplified as he speaks through the microphone, the thunderous response reverberating back to him. He tries his usual banter to warm up to the crowd, to calm his nerves- but tonight, his heart just isn’t in it.

It’s been almost a month since he last spoke to Sebastian, almost a month since their break-up. Seeing him tonight just before he’s scheduled to go on stage and perform his set proved to be overwhelming, his heart bleeding anew.

He paces between the band and the mic stand a little, not quite sure how to ease the pain coursing through him. His hands are trembling just thinking about his encounter with Sebastian.

“It’s good to see you, Blaine,” his ex-boyfriend had said, a gorgeous smile on his face, his tone nonchalant- and that had been enough to rip the temporary sutures holding his broken heart together.

He grabs a bottle of water that sits idly on one of the foldback speakers, needing something to hold on to to still the tremors in his hands. Did their relationship mean so little to Sebastian that he was unaffected by the break-up? Haven’t the kisses they shared seared an ever-lasting mark on Sebastian’s skin, heart, as they have on him?

He doesn’t want to seem weak, to let Sebastian see how miserable he’s been without him. But he can’t help it- he’s heartbroken, and he misses Sebastian.

“Just because you don’t want to love him, doesn’t mean you don’t,” his best friend, Sam, had said as he tried to drown his pain with bottles of wine and pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Amidst the cheering of the crowd, he decides to wear his heart on his sleeve, to bare the pain of being without Sebastian. So, he whispers for his lead guitarist to instruct the band to play a song that isn’t on the setlist but one they’ve rehearsed for fun countless of times.

He needs Sebastian to hear him- all the things he had wanted to say following their break-up.

As the rhythm guitarist plucks a few notes and the bassist makes her adjustments, he addresses the crowd- but really, he chooses his words as if he’s talking to Sebastian himself.

“This is a song I’ve never performed live before- but it’s such a great song- one of my favourites,” he speaks into the mic, running his fingers through his curls, slightly sweaty now from the heat of the stage lights, his striped sleeveless shirt under his light blazer almost soaked through from the summer heat. “And it’s a song that says everything I never had the chance to say- so- here goes.”

“ _Guess mine is not the first heart broken_ ,” he sings, eyes closed, heart bare. “ _My eyes are not the first to cry_.”

He chances a glance towards stage left, eyes searching the spot endearingly claimed by Sebastian whenever he performed back when they were dating- green eyes gleaming with pride. He doesn’t expect to find those green eyes there tonight- but somehow- he does.

“ _I’m not the first to know- there’s just no gettin’ over you_ ,” he sings as he holds Sebastian’s gaze before closing his eyes again, letting the music wash over him- a balm that soothes the ache in his heart.

He sings, heart wide open. He injects his signature runs and riffs in the notes, his pain riding on the words of the song.

He picks out a whoop of joy somewhere in the crowd as the band winds down to brace for the chorus and he smiles despite the hurt. Performing has always had an otherworldly effect on him; it takes him to another plane where he’s free to just... _be_.

The music soars.

“ _But now- there’s nowhere to hide- since you pushed my love aside-_ ,” he trills, his body vibrating along with the band’s notes and the ever-present hollowness that comes with being without Sebastian.

“- _I’m outta my head-_ ” he riffs.

There’s no one he’s fallen faster or harder for than Sebastian Smythe- the charming frontman of a trio whose humble beginnings mirrored his own, playing open mic nights and small cafés before catching a break by writing that hit song; his a wonderfully arranged tune that will go down in music history as a _love anthem_ , Sebastian’s a heart-wrenching and honest ballad made even more stunning when paired with his voice.

“- _I’m so hopelessly devoted to you_ ,” he sings, every bit of the note, the words ringing with truth.

 _Just because you don’t want to love him, doesn’t mean you don’t_ , he recalls.

“ _I’m hopelessly devoted to you_.”

And he sings- and he sings.

He finishes the song, finishes his confession, heart thrumming with mixed emotions. He’s still weighed by the pain of the break-up yet there’s something uplifting, something cathartic after singing how he feels, knowing Sebastian is there backstage.

He hopes Sebastian hears everything he had to say.

Just before the band goes into one of his more upbeat numbers, he chances one last glance at stage left; the green eyes he’s searching for aren’t there.

 

.

 

The high that comes with performing courses through his veins and he’s flying off stage once he finishes his set.

He trades hugs and high-fives backstage, roadies and crews and the other artists who made up the music fest’s line-up congratulating him. He smiles and laughs and- for the most part- he’s genuinely happy.

But he doesn’t deny the stolen glances at the corner of his eye- checking, hoping to run into Sebastian again.

Another band comes up next and the crowd receives them with cheering warmth. He hangs around stage right to get a better view of the band. As much as he is a musician, he prides himself in being a big fan of other musicians and their work, too. The band begins their set and he’s singing and jumping along with the crowd.

But as he does so, he still checks and hopes to find those green eyes once more.

 

.

 

The night sky glows dark purple with hints of summer blues and oranges as the music fest progresses.

A solo artist walks off stage after her set, her face brimming with joy he knows all too well that comes with completing a great performance.

She half-hugs him and whispers a _thank you_ when he congratulates her but whatever she says after is drowned out by the cheers of the crowd as Sebastian’s band walks on stage.

As if on cue, his heart races at break-neck speed, his eyes regarding the man taking his place before the mic stand, the man he’s in love with- the man who broke his heart.

He shakes his head to clear away some of the hurtful memories of the night they had broken up creeping in his mind. Truth be told, he’s not sure what had happened. What had started the fight? What had made Sebastian yell ‘ _It’s over_ ’?

He watches Sebastian’s suave movements, his black jeans encasing slender legs that go on for days, legs that have pleasurably been wrapped around his waist as they tussled in bed. His ex wears a faux-leather jacket over a v-neck t-shirt, the gray a shade darker where his sweat stains it but what catches his eye is the chain around Sebastian’s neck; the necklace that holds a single key- the antique copper Giving Key with the word **_Dream_** engraved on it. The one he had given to Sebastian.

He and Sebastian may not have traded their _I love yous_ before the break up, but that key was very much his silent declaration. And the fact that Sebastian never took it off since receiving it- he had started regarding that as Sebastian’s silent declaration, too.

His heartbeat picks up speed at the sight of the necklace. He’s surprised to see Sebastian still wearing it almost a month after the split. But he’s even more surprised at how quickly hope grows in the recesses of his heart.

Underneath his indifference and nonchalance, is Sebastian actually as miserable as he is after the break-up, holding on to any piece of him that he can? Does Sebastian miss him, too?

“We’re not usually one to do covers-,” Sebastian’s smooth voice carries through the microphone and he watches Sebastian on one of the big screens draping the rear of the stage, smiling a wide smile, but he sees a hint of sadness in it. Or perhaps it’s merely his imagination.

“-but sometimes- when you want to say something- when words evade you-,” his ex boyfriend drawls, working the crowd- more specifically the ladies- with his winks and smirks. “-you just gotta borrow someone else’s.”

He watches Sebastian give his band mates a nod – Santana Lopez on the drums, Jeff Sterling on lead guitar- and the notes to an unfamiliar song start to waft through the many arena speakers.

Sebastian fidgets in front of the microphone for a moment and he knows his ex is whispering a pre-performance mantra of “ _dream until your dream comes true_ ”- something Sebastian had admitted to only him- before he opens his mouth to sing-

“ _If you’re standing with your suitcase- but you can’t step on the train_ -”

His heart stutters at the sound of Sebastian’s voice, even more so when he sees his ex clutching the key around the necklace as he does so, like the Giving Key is the only thing tethering him to the moment.

Then, green eyes find him- and how easily those eyes find him leave him slightly breathless- the next flow of words feeling a lot like a confession-

“ _Everything’s the way that you left it- I still haven’t slept yet_ -”

His stomach flutters, his breath catches in his chest.

Sebastian continues to sing, moving across the stage and making full use of the spaces but every once in a while, he stops, his eyes holding his gaze- as if the entire arena is empty save for the two of them.

“ _If the truth is you’re a liar when you say that you’re okay_ -” Sebastian croons and it hits him square in the chest.

For weeks now, _I’m fine_ is a lie he tells anyone who asks after him- a lie he tells himself to pillow the hurt, to seem strong and unaffected. “His loss,” some friends had yelled as they shoved shots in his direction- being _back on the market_ is something to celebrate, they had said. But the truth remains that the break up is as much his loss, too. Losing Sebastian is exactly that- a loss.

The harmonizing voices of Santana and Jeff backing Sebastian pull his head out of the clouded thoughts as his ex holds his gaze again.

“ _I’m sleeping on your side of the bed- Goin’ out of my head now_.”

Boldly, he steps closer to the edge of the curtained area, the music and Sebastian pulling him in. He’s sure that some of the people in the audience at stage right can catch glimpses of him as the black drapes flutter slightly in the breeze.

Jeff jumps off an amp as the music soars into the chorus, bleached-blond hair covering half his face, hyping up the crowd but Sebastian remains close to stage right, to where he is, singing only for him.

“ _I’ll leave the door unlatched- if you ever come back_ -”

His breath catches in his breastbone yet again.

“ _There’ll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat- if you ever come back-_ ”

He chances another step forward, entranced.

“ _There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on- and it will be just like you were never gone-_ ”

This is it, he thinks. This is Sebastian’s apology- almost a month too late. But he doesn’t care. He hears what Sebastian is imbedding in the words of the song, hears it loud and clear.

“ _If you ever come back, if you ever come back now_.”

Ignoring the hurt that Sebastian had put him through these past few weeks, ignoring his heart that had bled raw in the wake of Sebastian’s ‘ _It’s over_ ’, he gives into the gravitational pull that’s hauling him to the middle of the stage as soon as his ex finishes the song.

Sebastian’s green eyes the light at the end of the tunnel, the flare of the lighthouse guiding him home, standing steadfast- waiting, welcoming him- his feet carrying him in a beeline as they keep to the tempo of Santana’s drum solo.

The crowd erupts in thunderous cheers the moment he locks lips with Sebastian, everything that had happened since the break up brought down to a simmer- all that matters in the present is this; Sebastian wants to make things right, Sebastian’s arms around him like he never wants to let go, Sebastian inscribing _I miss you_ in all the ways he’s kissing him.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispers against his lips once they’ve ceased their kissing, oblivious to the thousands in the crowd witnessing their reconciliation.

He rests his forehead against Sebastian’s lips and breathes in deep. He wants to give this thing they’ve carved out amidst crazy tour schedules and live gigs another chance. But he can’t deny the pain, the hurt Sebastian had put him through by giving up on them so easily. Why did Sebastian do it in the first place? Should they have another argument in the future, will Sebastian leave just as easily?

“Why-?” he starts to ask, looking into his ex’s eyes but can’t find the rest of the words to complete his query, too caught up in the feel, the smell, the taste of Sebastian. He has missed this man so much.

But Sebastian doesn’t miss a beat, effortlessly picking up on his concern, his train of thought.

“I never thought it possible for me to find something, someone I’d be so terrified to lose-,” Sebastian breathes, clutching him tighter, closer- just in case he would fade away in the summer breeze. “-so I pushed you away.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Sebastian laughs, his breath hot on his face, his smile warming his heart.

“There’s definitely a flaw in my logic but I’ve never met anyone quite like you before, Blaine Anderson,” Sebastian says, a finger twirling a loose curl hanging by his temple. “I’m in way over my head.”

Another feeling overpowers the simmering pain that’s festered for the past few weeks, cancelling it out little by little, a feeling that’s refusing to stay silent a moment longer.

“I love you,” he declares, the words making flesh the truth that had resided in his heart for a while now.

Instantaneously, Sebastian’s face lights up, his eyes twinkling, his smile blinding- they shame the glares of the arena lights and the lights of the stars that’s littering the summer’s night sky. He strives to memorize the image of it in his mind- a priceless piece of memory to keep for all his days.

Sebastian kisses him deep, the bouts of reverberant cheers a soundtrack to the scene unfolding onstage. And then he kisses him deeper still.

“And I love you,” Sebastian reciprocates once Jeff taps them on the shoulder, half-yelling “Go get a room once our set’s done, Smythe!”

Jeff strums the notes of their next song with Santana keeping the beat as he walks off stage, grinning from ear to ear. And he plants himself in a spot stage right that grants him the best vantage point where he watches the man he’s hopelessly devoted to wows the crowd.

\--END

**Author's Note:**

> Blaine's performance inspired by [Darren Criss' rendition of _Hopelessly Devoted to You_ at Elsie Fest (2016)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmrFhUEwrKE)
> 
> Sebastian's performance inspired by [The Script's _If You Ever Come Back_ Live at Aviva (2012)](https://youtu.be/0do80F4hO3o)
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments welcomed.


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